Americorps

Do a year of service, they said.  You'll learn a lot, they said.

Well, I'm 10 months in and what have I learned?  That the organization that I am working for is crap at managing its people, its time, and its money.

That when a big project is due soon, they use me and the other Americorps member to do it, because we don't cost them money.

In fact, that's what we do mostly, is anything that would take up too much time of any of the paid employees.  I find job leads, because the main employment navigator has too many other responsibilities(some of which are supposed to be mine).

What else have I learned?  Oh right, that I am not valuable as an employee here, but at the same time, somehow irreplaceable.  If I am so irreplaceable, don't shove stuff on my plate without asking me. Don't assume that I have loads of time to do a project without asking me.  Don't give me a project and tell me that it is super important and not reply to my emails.  Don't ask me how much time I have left on the project and frown when I give my best estimate without offering help or suggestions.  Don't give me feedback on a project at the end when I have been asking clarifying questions, which you ignored, the whole time.

If you want me to do something, treat me as a real employee.  Because I am and you are misusing me.

My In-Laws

First, they can't plan anything to save their lives and Kevin drops everything that we had planned(all it was was a quiet night in, which we haven't had in 5 days and which this introvert desperately needs to recover, but obviously that doesn't matter to him) to spend time with them. 

I mean, I understand that his mom is here and she lives in New York, yet we just spent a day with her in NYC and he spent Thursday with her.  But he had planned today with her and then what, decides no I'm not gonna do that, instead I'll make my wife feel guilty for not driving half an hour in rush hour traffic to spend time with the whole fam-damn-ily.

But second, I don't think they like me.  Not like they hate me, but that they definitely think that I'm not really part of the family.  That I'm just an outsider. 

Hellooooo!! We've been married for 4 years and together for 4 more.  I'm part of the stupid family.

And every time something like this happens, I feel like they judge me a bit more.  Like, they think I don't like them.  And I do like them, but I need down time and we've already got three nights booked this week.  And we had 4 nights last week and 4 nights the week before.  I'm run down.  I haven't been able to recharge and now, here I am, making this separation a little bigger by just being an introvert.

And on a different topic, this last weekend we went to my sister-in-law's in-laws' cabin and I got all bit up by mosquitoes.  Through my clothes.  Through the bug spray.  All over.  And I itch.  And it is driving me insane.

Sorry for the rant, but I've got no place else to rant. I don't have enough introverts in my life.