#YesAllWomen

A couple of days ago, a young man went on a killing spree.  He wanted revenge on women, not specific women, but all women.  He wanted revenge because they hadn't had sex with him.  So, because he couldn't get any of the sex, he killed people.

No man is entitled to sex.  No women is entitled to sex.  All people are entitled to self-pleasure.  That is it.  This is rape culture at it's finest.  And now there are tweets and posts about how some woman should have just slept with him and there would have been no problem.  Really, you think a guy who believes that he is entitled to sex and that women are encompassed only by their vaginas, you really think that this is the type of guy who is not going to kill someone?  Obviously, he's not rational.  But people(mostly men) are saying that he was entitled to sex and that these women should've just gotten it over with.  Lie back and think of England? 

But, here's the thing.  This boy wouldn't have stopped at once and the woman said no, he wasn't going to hear it.  Because to him and to so many more, women are not fully developed, thoughtful, intelligent, human beings. 

And that's the problem.

I read a tweet under the hashtag #yesallwomen that said that women hurt men and other women as well.  Well, yes.  Human beings are not always empathetic in every moment.  The hashtag is not saying this.  No one is saying that women are inherently better, but that women have had to deal with a culture where a young women doesn't want to walk alone, not just at night, but ever.  Or a woman who is raped is the first person blamed for the rape.  Not the rapist, but the victim.

And I racked my brains, I mean, I'm pretty lucky, I've not experienced much in this aspect, mostly because I choose to surround myself with men who are respectful and thoughtful and truly believe that women are equals.  Also, I didn't do the whole bar dating scene, but I could've.  And then, I remember before I moved in with my now husband, then fiance.  First, my mother and I had this big fight, because I insisted that we were going to remain celibate.  She said that it was impossible to do so, while living with a man and sleeping in the same bed.  Second, when my mom found out that one of my closest friends from childhood was living nearby, she said, whew, I'm so relieved, because what if you had to leave Kevin and there was no one close.  What kind of thing is that?  That a mother has to worry that her daughter will not be able to get out of an abusive relationship, even when she has the knowledge and trust in the man.  There is inherently no way to put your full trust in a man for so many women, because men has shown time and again that they are not trustworthy.

Memorial Day

Am I the only one bothered by people who insist that this is a day to celebrate our soldiers?  Maybe it's too nitpicky, but this is not a day for that.  This day is to remember those who have given their lives, that "last full measure of devotion."  People; men, women, children; who died in wars.
It's not a day to be happy about our freedoms, but to remember, with solemnity, our failures and the world's failures, and how those who died have tried to help improve our lives.

I do not celebrate Veteran's Day, because I think that there is little benefit in celebrating war and those who choose to fight.  But, today, today is about those who had no choice, or those who sacrificed so that others could live.  It is a day where we remember the horrors of war.  Where we do not say that soldiers are ideal or something to strive for, but where we remember what happens when our world fails.  And that is worth remembering. 

Wow, it's been a while.

So, I am currently searching for a job.  Frantically...desperately...thoroughly.
There is nothing like it.  I feel stressed constantly.  My day barely changes from day to day.  My insecurities are heightened.

But there are good things, too.  Like my husband and our nephews and our friends.

It's just busy and tiring and sometimes, lonely.

But, it's already gotten better.  Just me typing this out helps.